I’m 36 today! Wanted to share some quick thoughts…
I am a reflector.. I love to look at the past and reflect on the things that have transpired over the course of a period of time..
10 yrs ago I was celebrating 26.
My grandfather had just pasted away from leukemia.
I just found out I was pregnant with Ava.
These events would end up being the catalyst God used to create massive change in my life (although that is not what it felt like in that moment).
My relationship with Christ was me doing a lot of talking and zero listening… but He never left and just kept on loving me… I think it’s interesting to look around and see people in my life on all these different journeys… sometimes it’s hard to be the Christian that says I didn’t always live very Christ-like.. some of my friends have relationships with God that are so intimate, so deep while others may not have much going on at all and there’s everything in between. I think that’s what makes God beautiful.. no matter where we are He loves us unconditionally and when I look back reflecting over the past 10 years I can see him weaving my life together in every single thread of every single day of my life…
Fast forward 9 years.. 2016 started under the valley.. unable to walk upright for 3 months.. waited 6 months to be diagnosed.. physical therapy for 8 months.. behavioral therapy for 15 months..
Specifically this exact time last year I was in a cage of fear. I was in complete darkness. I was afraid to leave the house.. eat, drink, sleep.. I was afraid to do anything; afraid to be alone. So many nights I felt so out of control.. my mind would just race and my heart would pound.. it was as if I was stuck in a maze I couldn’t get out of.. some nights would be so intense I would have my mom or daughter sleep with me because I thought for sure I was going to die… many nights I thought it would all go away if I weren’t here.
But the way God set my life up is he placed each and every one of you in my path.. every smile, laugh, word of encouragement.. all the hugs, conversations and prayers made a difference in my life.
Whether I’ve known you my whole life or just a day, I am eternally grateful for everything you all have poured into me and not just me but Ava as well.
As we get older it’s harder to cultivate meaningful relationships… it becomes harder to maintain relationships. We get so busy wrapped up in the busy.. our titles.. our social media that we may forget love is in the details of life.. so I encourage you in honor of this moment with me reach out to someone with a warm smile, a listening ear, a hug…
you can be the light in someone’s darkness.. XoXo